The blanket

When I was sixteen I made my first quilt. I loved it. I used it all the time. When I was 21 and went to spend a few weeks with MW at his bachelor pad I decided to bring it with me for a little bit of comfort in a very masculine house. It was not more than a day or two before the blanket was not being used by me, but instead MW. He would wear it around the house...mind you this blanket has a pink and white pattern on the back and many bright "girl" colors on the front. His room mates would ask him about his "pink" blanket and he would tell them, "it is not pink, it's maroon." When it was time for me to go home that summer the blanket ended up staying behind. On my next visit I took it back, reclaiming my blanket, but it was not long before it headed back with him to TN. So, the story goes. This blanket went to Iraq and on many other journeys. The blanket is OLD and it has had tears and I sew the seems back together, but in the last year it has started to basically decompose. The fabric is almost disappearing in places. MW begs me to fix it every time and a few months ago I must have sewn 15 tears closed. I left the big ones, the ones that are just missing fabric and there is no repair without adding fabric. Again, I was begged to fix it. I just pulled out my sewing machine and what a pain in the butt to try and sew patches on this thing. I don't think I have it in me. I would rather make a new blanket than patch this one. The blanket was my first quilt and I never expected it to last this long with as much love as it has had. It is faded and torn and looks like something a mother would throw away while a child is at school. (I am not scarred from my childhood- really) So, as I type I am wrapped in this soft little quilt that I do also truly love, and wondering if it is worth the aggravation to fix it, or if i am better off letting it grow old and dissolve. I almost feel guilt as I enjoy the softness of it, but then I clench my teeth thinking about repairing it. I may give it another shot...sew a few "big" holes shut. There are probably 20 at this point...The funniest part of it all is that I still have left over of one of the eight materials that is in the quilt. All these moves and years later. I guess I have to fix it. After all, I have the fabric.